Almost 5 years ago I had the haircut from hell, which should’ve come as no surprise because the guy holding the scissors was no pro by any means, and I’m sure he secretly despised me! I’m almost ashamed to say that I really only trusted him to cut my hair because he was gay, but the universe taught me my lesson and I vowed never again would I never get a haircut. Again. Ever. In my life.
Of course, this promise didn’t last, (those trims gave me GROWTH!) but th
e second I made this decision I was filled with immediate comfort knowing that my hair would obviously one day be long and luscious because I was never cutting it. Years it would take, but it wasn’t like I had anything other to do than… wait.
I was living on a small island at the time, meaning I didn’t have access to luxuries I’d usually have at home, such as hair products, a hairdryer or straighteners. So once my locks were reduced to a tiny little Afro puff, I couldn’t even style it to look cute! The Tito Jackson vibes were REAL and at the time I absolutely hated it.
It quickly became clear that I was not fully comfortable with myself the way I thought I was and somehow, I realised I hadn’t realised that confidence was deeply rooted to the length of my hair.
It was like a bushy big ol’ hug for my head. It was warm on cold days and incredibly sweaty on hot days, but to me it was one of my defining features – always ‘the girl with the big hair.’
Well fast forward about 5 years and time had given me what I’d been picturing for years – a full head of long bushy curls. I’m pretty sure pregnancy gave me a little helping hand in the growth department because right before I cut it off my hair was the longest I can remember it being, ever. It was only mildly damaged, nothing a little care and time couldn’t fix so I’d never thought of taking anything more than a few inches off my split ends.
So why go the whole mile and cut it all?
To cut a long story short (no pun intended) this decision was made out of what felt like divine intervention.
One morning stood in the shower under running water the question ‘do you really need this, does this still serve you?’ came to me. I’ve invested some time over the years in learning to understand to trust my intuition and really try and get to know and distinguish my own voice and of thought in my mind, so that I can learn that which comes from me, and that which is coming from another source. (Side note: I really recommend practicing this in meditation as a way of connection with your spirit guides.)
So when this thought, these words came to me, I felt with every inch of my heavy hair as it clung soggily to my wet back, that it was time to go. There was no compromise, I wasn’t going mid or bob length. Almost like a re-birth, some part inside of me had this intense urge to be re-born and at the time I had absolutely no idea what it was.
But now I understand. From the start I knew this was more than a haircut – it wasn’t to look good and five minutes before that shower, to my awareness I was never going back to short hair again, let alone inch long hair – but this was a path printed out on my journey before I even put my foot on the map, because shortly after the deed was done, I knew my life would be changed. In so many more ways than just my reflection.
And so came my re-understanding of less. Not just less hair, but less hollow desires, less self-criticism, less of a need to tone myself down to make anyone else feel more comfortable, less agreeing for fear of conflicting opinions, less giving a fuck about how I’m perceived and MORE embracing my authentic self. Free of from hiding my laugh behind my hair, free from striving for things I don’t truly want or need and free from filling empty spaces in my life which things which don’t serve me at my highest level. And here was birthed my ever increasing passion for minimal living.
My hair was the first thing to go, followed by about 70% of my wardrobe, (there’s a capsule wardrobe in the making) the flat screen in my bedroom, 2/3rds of our book collection, the majority of my pregnancy impulse buys and there’s a TON more that I’ll be getting rid of. I can’t even explain the wonders of downsizing. I’ve barely even scratched the surface and it’s so clear to see how living in a minimised space can be SO beneficial for your productivity, and mental health and clarity.
I’m beginning to see that the more shit I have and continue to seek, the more shit I feel. I’ve spent actual years wondering and asking why it’s so difficult for me to focus my productivity, and cutting my hair gave me the answer I was looking for. Because it was becoming clear that focus was so much harder to maintain while surrounded by stuff I hardly ever use and really don’t need. Filtering out that which isn’t of value to me so that I can truly focus my intention on that which matters to and serves my best self – now that’s where I find true development.
Minimising everything is peeling back the layers so that I can understand the woman I’ve become through these many years of change, loss, growth, regression, depression, an abundance of love, and appreciating how truly blessed I have been, even when it felt like I had nothing.
In that one, brilliant and cosmically inspired moment, though I didn’t really know why I was doing it, I thank the Divine everyday that I followed through with that big chop, because this one change has set me off into a lifestyle change that I never really knew I needed, but giving me the contentment I’ve always craved.